The Ideal Man

What is that one thing which is common thought or rather a dream in every unmarried single women’s heart or may be even in married women’s heart too. “The ideal man”. Is that a concept that is only in movies and dramas? Do at least some get this ideal man in their life and if they get so, is their life ideal as what we thought to be? These thoughts was going through my mind for several days.

I lived a very decent life, even though it is what seemed to be from outside. To me, I lived a life with lots of flaws and positives. I met one man in my life and thought he would be my ideal man. For me he was the ultimate man I could get in my life and then meßàhe never happened. It turned out as my ideal man never saw me as his ideal woman. Later on close observation, maybe I was blind in love and forgot to notice that my ideal man was never an ideal one. He was one with lots of flaws and unacceptable elements in his character.

My friend of 8 years Nancy, who is working as a senior engineer in a semi-conductor manufacturing firm said ”People have their own good and bad points, but it is all about embracing the both in a human being and that is the reason my relationship with Steve is very strong”. Steve, Nancy’s boyfriend whom she fell head over heels when she met him during a marriage ceremony of her colleague. I would mock Nancy for the fact that she had to fly to another country to meet her soul mate and at the same time I feel happy for her because I felt she would never fall again in love after her bitter break-up with her ex-boyfriend.

My other friends had different viewpoints. “When you were born itself, It is written down whom you should marry and that will be your ideal man” said Ron, my close best friend who is happily married to Jane and have a son, Jake. I have heard such similar viewpoints from many people. But how? Then why do we fall in love many times? Then why do many marriages fail and many love affairs fail? How does extra martial affairs come up?

“It is only based on the concepts we have in our mind and we find a person based on this, which is what we say as our ideal partner”. This was the viewpoint of Manny, the best human being I have ever met in my life. Manny have went through many failed relationships and he can tell things better than many others. I shared the same viewpoint as that of Manny in most of the things in life and so did on this. We frame our concepts based on the people we have in our lives. A girl frame her concept from her father, her brother or any other man who may have played strong role in her life. This concepts form the ideal man in her mind.

This was the only explanation that could validate why I found two ideal men in my life. One man as I mentioned in the first, a man who never saw me as his ideal woman. The second one who saw me as his ideal woman and yet I didn’t take that relationship forward due to reasons that is still unknown to me. These two men had nothing in common other than some points, which was my concept of an ideal man. My second ideal man told me “Maria, you need to form some concepts about the person whom who you would like to be with in your life” and that is the point I found out what my ideal man should be like.

So ideal man is the concepts that we frame in our life based on the people in our life, the things we like about them and those we dislike about them. Some people have to compromise on their concepts and later when they find someone who fulfill all the check boxes in their concepts table, they fall in love with that person. Hence extra martial affairs crop up or where people fall in love with another when they are already committed. Some people will be lucky enough to get a person who will satisfy all those check boxes in their concepts table and others won’t be. This is how some people find their ideal man and others don’t.